Photos of the garden

I thought I should post photos of the garden which takes up so much of my time

The Garden

overall winner
Seems like the garden has won out on all the other activities. I have no time to write or paint and now Wandadoo has erased all my e-mails and my e-mail addresses. gardening keeps me sane whilst computering drives me mad. Is there a word to compute which does not mean doing sums?Last week I visited three exhibitions/gardens. now my head is reeling with ideas for the garden and paintings and sculptures.
Posted by Fleure Sauvage at 10:46 1 comments

Identity

I have been experimenting with pseudonymns. Twice before in mylife I changed my name.The first time was when I was at college. At that time I hated my first name so I swopped to my middle name and shortened it. After college I reverted because I returned to my home town and everyone continued to call me by my original name.When I started to write I hated both of my names so chose a new pseudonym completely.I liked the name but when my mail arrived bearing this chosen name I didn't recognise myself.I gradually let it drop.Now in cyberspace I have experimented with so many names I forget them and the passwords which go with them. I thoroughly enjoy making up these alter egos but forget to record them.Does this mean that I do not know who I am? Or just that I am trying to discover my real self?Will I ever grow into my given name? Do I want to? will I find a self with whom I am comfortable?
Posted by Fleure Sauvage at 07:37 0 comments

Blogs and computers can drive you to the edge

I now have 3 blogs. My first one http:/wildwomenwrite.blogspot.com which I can no longer log into for some reason. Then I set up this one and thought I was going well when I forgot the password. Next I set up yet a third just to yell into cyber space about google. Low and behold I found a note on the wall of my office with name and password for this blog.so now i am convinced of my downward fall into madness. But I still blame it on computers in general - Wanadoo, Microsoft and Google in particular.Will I ever get to writing about my life here and thoughts and feelings? Not to mention my novel. And what about all the paintings that are floating about in my head? I have to live to be 200 to get it all done? Did I mention the garden? No? Now see the grass is growing even as I type this and the weeds of course. When will I get around to the water feature I started to create and the found-wood sculpture area. The stone circle remains an idea in my head.Perhaps it is not cyberspace that is driving me insane. Perhaps it is head space or more precisely lack of head space.

Time Lack Of

Tuesday, 5 June 2007

busy,busy.busy
I feel like the White Rabbit. I am always in a hurry and no matter how many jobs I do there are always more at the end of the day than at the beginning. I should consider myself lucky that I am never bored. I am just greedy for time which is silly because we all have the same number of hours in a day and it remains constant. So I'm off to do job no. five on the list in my head which has ---let me see-- 100, a 1,000, no more like an infinite number on it. Still as my friend Pat used to say when you finish them all you die. Guess I'm going to live forever then!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Fleure Sauvage at 17:30 0 comments

Exercise

The exercise
I took the exercise from www.writespace.co.uk .Make a list of words using the letters of your first name and as the initial letters of each word.Use the words to write the first part of a story.Do the same thing with your second name and write the second half of the story.
Posted by Fleure Sauvage at 21:02 0 comments

Second part of exercise
But. There is always a but isn't there? Well this time I am going to ignore all the buts. The but that says ,'You are too old.' And the one that says, ' You haven't got that much money.'and 'You're afraid of flying.' All of them I'll get round them. Oh yeah and how will you get round your fear of needles?You'll have to have injections to go to almost any where in Africa.Keep at it girl. That's how you got where you are today by being tenacious. If you are going to get all emotional about it get angry. That is an emotion that you can use. Anger can be useful energy. Depression just pruduces inertia.Right then here we go. It's a bloody disgrace that all these children are being left without carers. We need to get help to them. In fact I can probably be more help from here than if I went out there in the heat. I would just get in the way.So find out which of the charities helps AIDS orphans and ask them what they need. Or better still finance someone who can go out there and help. What about raising money for just that. Or even financing a foster system of some kind. It is mandatory that you first of all finance someone to go on a fact finding mission. Then maybe you will have some answers. Who says there is no solution?
Posted by Fleure Sauvage at 20:40 0 comments

Old Blog

I have found two of my od blogs and I am going to copy and paste them into this because I felt as though I had lost part of myself and now I feel whole.

Old Blog

The following is an exercise from Vanda Inman's website.Are any of us really free? What is freedom? What do we mean when we talk about freedom? Do we mean freedom from hunger or violence or poverty or work or worry or even ----Years ago I escaped from a violent marriage and I worked for years to free myself from poverty in old age. Now the question is what do I do with this so called freedom?I even have time to choose how to spend my time each day. But am I happy? What do you think?I agonise about my comfort. I look at the rest of the war-torn world and feel guilty. Then I agonise about what I can do about it. Do I send money to good causes, do I offer to help in a charity shop, do I offer my services as a volunteer in an old peoples home, am I too old for voluntary work overseas? Haven't I earned a peaceful retirement? Too many questions and no answers.Then reality strikes and my past catches up with me. I get a phone call from the adoption organisation who have news of my son who was adopted 30 years ago. They tell me the good news first. They have found his parents (adoptive that is). Now sit down for the bad news.He died 11 years ago. he died from AIDS and yes he was gay.Well what are you going to do when you have stopped crying? The media tells us that the evidence coming from Africa is that it is getting worse and people are dieing for lack of drugs. Babies are being left without parents. Thousands of babies are being left with no-one to care for them. So here is your answer. Make a decision and do something about it. But what can I do?One person and we talk about Africa as if it is a tiny country. It's not a country. It is an enormous continent of fifty one countries. Where on earth do I begin?You can begin by collecting information from charities and organisations already in the field. Then perhaps you will find some one who perhaps can advise you.

My garden

Just to remind me of Summer.

Dreams

January 15th 2010
The Anti-Gun dream
I saw three people I knew I think, two women and a man. They were sitting in a semi circle all aiming their guns at something and there was an enemy over towards the left of me right of them They were smiling as though it was a good thing to do and they were happy.
They were definitely going to use the guns.
I decided that if I was anti gun then I must stop them. So I just walked slowly forward towards the woman to my right. The others all watched there was someone behind me whom I knew. A man. He was thinking that what I was doing was brave. I was thinking then why don’t you do it. I stared at the women in the eyes. I talked all the time I was slowly walking forward.
‘What are you doing? Are you mad? Do you think this will solve anything? It will just make things worse.’
She stared at me in disbelief. I took the gun from her. It looked like no gun I had ever seen before. I stupidly thought that it looked modern like a modern ornament or something.
I tuned towards the someone who was the enemy who was exiting a nearby barn. I walked towards him and I was going to try to take the gun from him. All the time I was talking. This is no good this is not the way to solve our problems. The first woman came after me. I turned on her . I shouted, “Keep back or I’ll shoot.2 I aimed at her feet but she kept coming. I shout again. But she kept coming.
I pulled the trigger and nothing happened. I pulled it three times. I realised that the gun was not loaded.
Suddenly a crowd of people appeared at the bus stop across the road. There was a woman in the middle of the crowd with her hand in her pocket as though holding a gun.
She was American.
Of course you need guns. Everybody in America has a gun. I looked at her in amazement.
“oh yes, “ I said, “And look at your country. Just tell me which particular problems carrying guns has solved”.
377

Later

I actually wrote the last post last year. Last week end I read 'Lovely Bones'. It made me realise that my writing was very lacking in many ways. I was both put off from writing again ever and inspired to improve my writing. So I am going to start writing seriously.

Thinking

Daily Babble
I can’t think of any any thing to say what HAS HAPPENED TO ALL MY IDEAS NOTHING AT ALL COMES TO MIND HOW FRUSTRATING WHEN I’VE YEARNED FOR FREE TIME TO WRITE AND PAINT AND NOW ALL I WANT TO DO IS TO GARDEN AND O F COURSE IT IS POURING WITH RAIN> and I have just typed all this in capitals but what can I write my mind is well and truly void.
So many stories are about love and that is the last thing on my mind having recently ended a 27 year relationship. I did fleetingly think that I could Write about the beginning which was I suppose the best part of my life.
I thought I would like to play a musical instrument and now I can’t even remember whether I chose the violin or the clarinet first.
My son wanted to play the violin so I found him a teacher and I went along with him. He soon became disillusioned and I took over the lessons. It must have been excruciating for the teacher. I couldn’t even tell whether I was in tune . She had a notice on her kitchen hatch which said ‘complaints to the cook may seriously damage your health’. I played so badly that I wonder that she didn’t write another label. ‘Playing out of tune could seriously damage your hearing.’ One week after I had practiced really hard I played the tune ‘Hundred Pipers’. She said, ‘That was really good now play it again and make it sound like music.’
Dec.8th 2009
After a few days of feeling exhausted and having cystitis I having been thinking about my life. What am I doing ? What are my aims? Where am I going? I am 69! That feels like a big milestone. I shall be 70 next year. Have I done all the things I wanted to do or should do/ what are my relationships with my family like?
My one passion continues to defeat me. The garden. I want to do so much there but I just don’t have the strength. I am continually complaining of lack of time and yet I spend hours watching TV. That is mainly because I am too tired to do anything else OR is that just an excuse. I don’t want to paint or write or play music anymore, why? I only feel inspired when I think about the garden. The Van Gogh Blues advises ‘ Make your own meaning’ and that has worked ‘til now. I have tried to book a cruise or a holiday in Portugal but do I want to go alone? The single supplement puts me off as well as thinking about packing alone. Why? It has never bothered me this much before.

The Rites of Spring

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjX3oAwv_Fs

Up Date

I have enjoyed playing around on my computer lately because I have discovered how to move photos around and also how to use memory sticks which are great. I have at last remembered how to access all my blogs. The problem is my life is so busy that I rarely have time to write on this blog.
I could list all the activities that I have undertaken.
Monday: Swimming
Wednesday: AGM at Ereac Breton Dance Class with Galettes de Roi
Friday: Breton dancing at Plumaugat
Saturday: Committee Meeting at Gomene for Jubbil
Sunday: cinema to see Coco Chanel & Ivor Stravinsky

article for Hebdo

JUBBIL in JanuaryThe first meeting of the year for JUBBIL (Jumelage Breton Bilingue) was last Sunday January 24th. We had planned a short walk to sharpen the appetite followed by the traditional Galettes de Roi. In the event of inclement weather (the meteo forecast was for rain) we had ready a list of indoor activities.However the sun shone on us and we enjoyed a delightful walk. We explored the countryside to the east of Gomene and discovered a little of its ancient history.We took the footpath through the woods opposite the lake, towards Les Aulnais. We first stopped to admire two very ancient crosses in the wood, then the 6th century inscription "Ced Parth So" on a menhir above the Château des Aulnais. Finally we admired the façade of the château itself before visiting the lake beside the footpath towards St. Guenaël.We were all ready for the welcoming coffee and warm Gallettes de Roi which we took in the room next to the presbytery in Gomene.As we enjoyed our refreshments the French and English members chatted amiably together. So yet again JUBBIL achieved its aims of sharing

We were all ready for the welcoming coffee and warm Gallettes de Roi which we took in the room next to the presbytery in Gomene.As we enjoyed our refreshments the French and English members chatted amiably together. So yet again JUBBIL achieved its aims of sharing language and culture.

article for Hebdo

JUBBIL in January
The first meeting of the year for JUBBIL (Jumelage Breton Bilingue) was last Sunday January 24th. We had planned a short walk to sharpen the appetite followed by the traditional Galettes de Roi. In the event of inclement weather (the meteo forecast was for rain) we had ready a list of indoor activities.
However the sun shone on us and we enjoyed a delightful walk. We explored the countryside to the east of Gomene and discovered a little of its ancient history.
We took the footpath through the woods opposite the lake, towards Les Aulnais. We first stopped to admire two very ancient crosses in the wood, then the 6th century inscription "Ced Parth So" on a menhir above the Château des Aulnais. Finally we admired the façade of the château itself before visiting the lake beside the footpath towards St. Guenaël.
We were all ready for the welcoming coffee and warm Gallettes de Roi which we took in the room next to the presbytery in Gomene.
As we enjoyed our refreshments the French and English members chatted amiably together. So yet again JUBBIL achieved its aims of sharing language and culture.

Brilliant idea!

I have just realised that I can create a short story blog and a photo blog and a poetry blog and I won't have to worry about losing stuff on my computer. I won't need to carry memory sticks around or copy to cds and back up cds. There must be a fault here because it just seems too easy.
The only problem I can see at the moment is that I shall have to remember a few names and passwords. That has got to be easier than all this copying and backing up. It's worth a try.

Letter to Mslexia

Sent the following to Mslexia today.
Dear Mslexia,
Hurray for Leonora Craig Cohen. I am 70 this year. It has taken me a life time of fighting and struggling against the received wisdom of centuries of patriarchy. I was taught that the only way to live was to get a man, play second fiddle to him, support him in everyway and sublimate myself. Everything I read, heard, saw and experienced confirmed this philosophy.
Deep down I felt that this was wrong. The first time that this feeling was validated was when I read The Female Eunuch (50 years ago?). I have managed to cling to my own identity, hopes, aspirations and most of all self-esteem. It wasn’t easy. It still isn’t. In spite of all the strides towards equality we have made the struggle is by far from over because we still live in a patriarchy. We only need to glance at the media to see that the world is full of grey suited men who rule the world and ‘attractive, sexy’ young women who support them. Even female newsreaders and weather ‘girls’ have to show cleavage.
I take refuge in literature for that seems to be the only place I find support for my ideas but it continues to prove difficult to find positive role models. So called chick lit has emphasised that we have to get that man.
I was beginning to despair so thank you Leonora and thank the goddess for Mslexia.
Freda Bateman

Seal

I think it really did work. Now the problem is how do I stop myself from spending all day doing this.

Photos

I have been experimenting with photos. I have lots of photos and videos on DVD and need to learn how to save them and move them about which is not easy. So here is a first try at importing a phot from a mini disc from my video camera.

writing

I have just written another article for the on line mag.
Yesterday I walked about four kms to visit a friend. The roads were beginning to clear but not enough to be safe to drive in the dark to go either line dancing or to the Ereac breton dance club. so stayed by a warm fire and did jigsaw. They are addictive but I find them somewhat easier on the wrists and hands than playing computer games which are also addictive. I nead my hands now for writing.
Bridget Jones was on french TV monday night and Hugh Grant was interviewed last night about his new film. He said he could speak French fluently. The interviewers took him at his word ( they didn't realise that he was joking ) There were six of them and they fired questions at him. He stumbled badly and quickly returned to English. But he got away with it with his charming smile as he did with his very bad joke about insest.

Writers Block

Fancy that and I didn't even know I had one. This blog has worked like dial a rod and was a damn site cheaper.
I am off to send my entry to the Mslexia short story Competition.

Article for Brittany Writers on Line

My Private Paradise

I often sit in my conservatory and contemplate the panoramic view it offers me. My eyes move from the church across the valley in the East to the two hundred year old oak trees on the Southern border of my land. I ponder what to do with the ivy covered, hundred year old boulangerie. The flowers and shrubs I planted which are thriving give me a thrill and I wonder whether to try vegetables this year.
And I feel guilty.
Guilty that all this should be mine. I listen to the radio and every day I hear of the war torn world. I hear of rape and mutilation. Bombing and killings are frequent the world over it seems. But not here. Not in my private paradise. The only disturbance to my tranquillity and reminder of this other world is the terrifying sound of the military jets. They practise low-flying sometimes just skimming the tops of the thirty feet poplars which surround two sides of my five thousand square metres of garden.
I tell myself that my political activity and campaigning days are over and I am entitled to this peaceful retirement. It is easy to do because believe me life in a Brittany commune is amazing.
Before I left England people asked me, “What will you do?” And even now because I live alone and my nearest neighbour is two hundred metres away and my house is the only one in the lane which leads into a field people here ask me , “What do you do all day? ” .
Where do I begin? I write, I paint, I dance, I swim, I play music, I go to concerts, I go to communal meals, I have visitors, I visit friends and I garden. In fact my biggest problem is deciding what to do. I am often heard complaining that I do not have enough time to myself. I really believed before I came that I would have more time to paint and write. Not so. I have always struggled with time. This quote sums up my dilemma.
“Even when we feel healthy and physically secure we have every day to find some optimum balance between our need to be an individual and our need to be a member of a group. If we go to far one way we are threatened with loneliness and isolation, and if we go the other way we are threatened by being swallowed up in the group. So every day we have to find an optimum balance between freedom and security. We cannot have both. The more free we are the less secure; and the more secure the less free. D Rowe ‘Beyond Fear’.
When I listed my interests and activities above I omitted a very important one. I had to learn French and for that reason I joined the Club des Aines.
I wanted to fit in and to take part in village life. I wanted to make friends with French people. It is so easy to get stuck in an English ghetto speaking English all the time and watching English television.
Club Des Aines
Sometimes we meet to play games, boules, belotes or scrabble. Sometimes we have outings. Sometimes we have a communal meal.
The numbers vary from 100-300 but everyone is found a seat and we enjoy waitress/ waiter service. The meals are usually five courses, sometimes more and each course is accompanied by a drink. We begin with the customary greetings at the door. Having lived here six years I mostly know who to kiss once, twice, three or four times and with whom to just shake hands. As you can imagine this takes some time especially when some people stay to chat which I always hope they do because it's one of the opportunities I get to practise my French.
We begin with a choice of aperitifs Ricard or whiskey with crispy nibbles and endless plates delicious nibbles. Next came the starter which last time was a salmon steak and salad with a glass of white wine. The main course is always steak or ham on the bone or coq a vin and chips and vegetables. This is served with red wine of course. Next comes the cheese and more red wine. The bread basket is continually replenished and there is always butter in Brittany. The sweet is often apple tart and delicious as was the chilled Champagne which came with it. Coffee followed with the square of chocolate and last but not least a digestive. This is a local speciality made by one of our members. My table companion Clotilde gave me the recipe. You heat red wine and add sugar and plums and Eau de Vie and wait as long as you can before using it. It is an absolutely delicious way to rounded off meal and is regarded as a digestive.
During the meal between courses a microphone is passed around the tables and anyone who feels the urge can sing or tell a joke. The Doyenne of the village Simone who is 99 sings songs which make people laugh 'til they cry. She is word perfect without a crib sheet. She also tells jokes. She lives alone. She is straight backed and has a lovely head of grey hair. If only we could all be so healthy at that age.
The meal begins at midday and ends after 5 o'clock. The tables are quickly cleared away while the band warms up and then the dancing begins. We do mostly ballroom dancing on these occasions but also line dancing and the occasional Breton Dance. I think it finishes at about 9 o’clock but I am usually too tired to stay to the end and I am probably the youngest there.
I hope to emulate Simone or at least live to a ripe old age like most of the villagers in this Brittany commune where I live in my private paradise.
997

Mayor's New Year Greetings

Yesterday all the inhabitants of Merillac were invited by the Mayor and the council to the Town Hall for a New Year Greeting. It's a tradition here. The snow has prevented me from driving for the last week and is likely to do so for another week so I was unsure about attending.
In the end I decided to walk. I was offered a lift when I had walked half of the 2 kms. I refused as I was thoroughly enjoying the crisp air, the crunching snow and the white vistas. I was also noting animal footprints in the virgin snow.
I reached the Marie feeling fit and warm and very pleased that I had decided to attend.
There was a crowd as usual just inside the door. It reminded me of a 'breaking the ice' game on a team building course but this is no game. Everyone already knows everyone. They were all genuinely greeting each other with 'meilleur voeux', 'bon annee, bon sante'. This is accompanied with between one to six kisses on both cheeks.
The number of kisses depends on whether you are family or length of friendship.
eventually after three requests from the Mayor to take our seats we move to the tables which are laid with nibbles and glasses.
The mayor surrounded by his council delivers his annual report.This is listened to with attention by all. The children present are well behaved and sit silently.
Applause at the end is followed by eager chatter and the council now serve us kir (strong blackcurrant liquer and white wine) and dainty amuse bouche. The Mayor and his deputy walk round the room toasting everyone individually.
The whole event is an example of the social glue which binds the inhabitants of French communes.

Winter Weather Thwarts Plans

Hi, I was so excited yesterday when I got up. I planned to spend the day writing articles for a Brittany Writers Newsletter which I had found the day before on the internet. Then I remembered that I had an appointment to have my car control techniqued (MOT) I spent all morning trying to decide what to do.
In the end I went to Merdrignac. It was a nerve wracking journey until I reached the main road. I made the most of my visit to town. I went to the supermarket and stocked up with food in case I am unable to use the car again for some time as more snow has been forecast. I bought a gaz bottle, useful for heating and cooking.
I bought a newspaper and read that the Mayor's New Year greetings will be tomorrow. Maybe I can walk to the Marie. There was also a report of our (JUBBIL's) New Year's Eve Party which I had written with a translation by Anicette our president.
The return journey was even worse There were cars being towed out of the ditch by tractors and I drove 4 Kms from St Vran in 1st gear because it was all down hill and I was afraid to touch the breaks. The road was like a skating rink. I was completely exhausted when I arrived home but thought as I parked the car that I wouldn't have to worry about driving again for a few dayor even a week.
The good news is that the car passed the test 100 per cent and I have enough supplies to last until the thaw.
This morning I have retrieved all the writing from an old blog which I hope to reuse. I have learned a few new procedures on my computer. Now I am off to submit something to the Newsletter. Seems like the writer's block which I didn't even realise I had has been unblocked.

Old blog

Now to try and find my old blog now that I have lost my last email account

what happened?

suddenly everything appeared again. It looks much better now. Maybe I shall continue to blog but not tonight as I am very tired.

what happened?

I need a lesson

I really don't like the look of this blog. The old one was much nicer but I don't seem to be able to change it.
I suppose I am only doing this because I am house bound due to the snow.
I used to be able to find other bloggers easily too but I can't do that either now.